Wednesday, July 22, 2009


i keep writing the first paragraph of different stories i want to write.
i never get any further than the first paragraph.
i have created a world of boring dull characters
who are all sad for some reason.
feel all of the stories will be incredibly aimless and would leave the reader
frustrated that the story never did anything.
completely on the surface of things and never going anywhere.

i donated plasma from my body today.
i got $25 for what looked like a pint of plasma.
watched my blood leave and then return into me and wanted to cry.
life seems disappointing.
human beings seem disgusting.
everyone seems to be dying or going crazy.
talked to an old friend on the phone
and was afraid of this person i no longer know.
he was talking in different voices
and yelling things in an aggressive and serious tone.
i found out yesterday that someone from my high school killed himself.
it seems to puts things in perspective, kind of.

it's been four years since i dropped out of school.
i have lived in different parts of the country in those four years
and also traveled to some places and looked at some things.
i no longer know anyone from high school but i remember them all
and i also remember the one who gave up on his life.
i feel i have given up on my life a long time ago
and wish this person was alive to be depressed with me.
dying complicates things.


  1. hello.
    how are you?
    i feel as if i might explode.
    i blame it on caffeine and bad dreams.